The definition of a Two-Face is simple. At some points the subject in question looks wholly fuckable, but at other times, they appear haggard and old. Like my balls. The explanation for this phenomenon is one of life’s great mysteries, and continues to baffle bloggers like myself to this very day. Case in point: Renee Zellwegger. Most of the time she appears boner-worthy, but catch her on an off day in the wrong light, and she is like a paler version of the Crypt Keeper.

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