Chick flicks are the worst. Somebody always dies of cancer or commits suicide or gets divorced, and in the end you’re supposed to cry in to your unsalted popcorn while using a tampon to blot away the tears. The problem is, every guy will be forced in his lifetime to involuntarily watch 9.8 chick flicks against his will. Don’t question the numbers, I’ve done extensive research.

So next time you are at the video store with the old ball and chain, score some much needed brownie points by allowing her to rent one of these carefully selected movies, which are inarguably chick flicks, but won’t make you consider suicide around the hour mark.

Guys, make your life that much better and check them out

1. A League of Their Own

Although devoid of romance in almost every way, A League of Their Own qualifies as a chick flick simply because 90% of the cast is female, and it has a definite feminist tone to the whole thing. It follows The Rockford Peaches, a baseball team that plays in an all women’s league that has been formed while the war rages in Europe. A stellar cast that includes the likes of Tom Hanks, Geena Davis, Lori Petty, Madonna, Rosie O’Donnell, and the incomparable Jon Lovitz helps it out, and the fact that the movie is almost entirely about baseball pushes it to top spot.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “It’s a shame it took a big Hollywood movie for those women to get some recognition.”

2. Mean Girls

There are two saving graces in a good chick flick. One is hot girls, which this movie has shit loads of. And don’t let them being in high school make you feel like a perv, all of them were legal when the movie was made. The second is comedy, and Mean Girls, though slightly juvenile, is outright hilarious at points. These two things plus a good soundtrack and a short running time make Mean Girls not only acceptable, but enjoyable.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “Lindsay Lohan should get more credit as a legitimate actress.”

3. Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

Much like Mean Girls, Romy and Michelle uses comedy to gloss over the shitty bits, but with much success. Lisa Kudrow basically re-creates her role as Phoebe from friends, but a stellar supporting cast and a premise that everybody can get on board with (wanting to impress former classmates at a reunion), make this one a winner, for you and your penis later on.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “It’s nice to see Mira Sorvino in a comedy, she’s pretty funny.”

4. When Harry Met Sally

Just a good movie filled with sharp dialogue and real life insight, When Harry Met Sally explores the concept of friends with benefits. Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan spend the whole movie looking for love in all the wrong places, only to discover in the end it was right under their noses the entire time. Sounds sappy, and it is at parts, but the infamous orgasm scene, and scores of other conversational one liners make it a winner. Also launched Meg Ryan in to super stardom and the writer, some broad named Nora Ephron was nominated for an Oscar for her effort.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “Meg Ryan is way too good looking for Billy Crystal.”

5. Pretty Woman

I don’t give a shit what anybody says, Pretty Woman is totally acceptable viewing for a man. Richard Gere is straight baller player pimp who needs a woman for the week, so naturally he gets some two-bit prostitute to hang out with him and pays her a shitload of cash. Awesome. This movie admittedly isn’t the most enjoyable for men, but guaranteed blowjob if you can sit through the whole thing without hurling objects at the television screen. Probably the most controversial addition to the list, but I think it’s funny and charming at parts, and like I said, huge points scored for viewing.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “It’s a lot like a modern fairy tale.”

6. Romeo + Juliet

Baz Luhrmann’s stylish adaptation of the Shakespeare play destroys any pre-conceived notions you had about the theater. Gunfights, ecstacy popping, sex, money and rock and roll are laced throughout the classic love story, and it never slows down. The music is good too. If you don’t want to stab Leo DiCaprio out of sheer jealousy every time you see his pretty boy face, this movie will get you off like no other on the list.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “I didn’t realize Shakespeare could translate so well to the cinema.”

7. Notting Hill

This movie actually plays off a classic guy fantasy, of having a superstar actress fall madly in love with you. Even if you are Hugh Grant and appear to be half retarded bumbling idiot in most of the film. Rhys Ifans as the slovenly roommate, and Grant’s quirky family provide much needed comedy relief throughout. Near the end it sort of falls off the rails, but by that time you should have already gotten in your wife/girlfriend/sister in law/date’s pants or else I just can’t help you.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “It must have been really hard for Julia Roberts to play a world famous actress.”

8. Blue Crush

Hot girls go surfing.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “Hawaii is so beautiful, we should go there.” (unless you live in Hawaii)

9. Grease

Musicals generally make me want to murder small animals, but Grease is the rare exception to the rule. Olivia Newton-John is wholly boneable as Sandra Dee, and John Travolta, although now the world’s biggest douche, is the fucking man as Danny Zuko. Fast cars, fast women, and hard living, even in high school? Grease is the word.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “I wish we could go back in time and live a day in the life of Grease”

10. Love & Basketball

Boy meets girl, they play basketball and fall in love as children, only to have boy become huge primadona in college and ditch girl even though she is the best gf ever. Years later, they re-connect and do it all over again, even playing one-on-one for the goods. Love & Basketball does well to put a sport element amongst the romance and roses, and is much a movie about struggling athletes as it is about love and shit. My personal favorite on the list squeaks in at the ten spot.

Clutch Mid-Movie Comment: “It’s incredible how they re-connected after all those years” (then whip it out)

Movies to avoid at all costs:

1. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
2. Beaches
3. Steel Magnolias
4. Mystic Pizza
5. Maid in Manhattan
6. The Wedding Planner
7. Fool’s Gold
8. Love Story
9. The Prince of Tides
10.Mystic Pizza