Scumbag Russians Ban Halloween

The Russian Governing body, Duma, which sounds like a tasty carbonated beverage, is currently considering a package of laws that are geared towards preventing teen suicides and alcoholism. Among the new rules are plans to ban toys shaped like skeletons or monsters, the implementation of a 10 p.m. curfew for all schoolchildren, and the phasing out of both Halloween and St. Valentine’s Day. The new measures also aim to curtail emo, or goth culture, which officials say is “cultivating bi-sexuality”.
Personally Russians frighten me. They drink vodka like the world is running out of it, and all the women look like they need the blood of other humans to sustain themselves, but I see some good ideas coming out of this package. Somebody has to put a stop to emo kids, and screw Valentine’s Day if you’re a guy. The only thing that really grinds my gears is the banning of Halloween, which when you’re a kid is the best fucking day of the year. They should just cut the shit and call it free candy day And the banning of toys shaped like monsters or skeletons? What’s left? Lego? I thought they were trying to not cultivate bi-sexuality.
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July 24th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
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July 25th, 2008 at 8:59 am
[…] Russia Bans Halloween: Seriously, what’s more communist than that? (DB) […]