In Texas, a man in a wheelchair entered a 7-11 armed with a bat and a knife. He beat the register until it opened, but didn’t take any cash. Instead, the crippled bandit made off with a large amount of condoms, and an energy drink. Police suspect the individual was under the influence at the time.

I don’t know how the police in Texas can assume he was drunk, in fact he sounds alarmingly sober. He wanted to get his fuck on but he didn’t have any rubbers, so he stole them. Knowing he would be worn out from all the robbing, he smartly took an energy drink to regain some vigor. I for one applaud this man and hope that he and the prositute had a magical afternoon.