Two posts in one day, I know, but clearly I do not keep up on the news and this crazy crap caught me by surprise. So I had to go read some of the veritable thousands of Clay Aiken news stories suddenly spreading like the herpes all over the place.

I have two words for you: artificial insemination. I’d compare him to Michael Jackson, except Clay’s baby-mama is … somewhat attractive. Plus (are you ready?) — they’re best friends! Awww. That means she’s his hag! I was all ready to drop my Clay is Gay soapbox — just because, god, be up front about it, would you? Doogie Howser came out and it’s the most awesome thing ever — Lance Bass even got a book out of it and sorry, Mr. American Idol, but even the boy-bands are more socially acceptable than your crooning.

Plus I mean … check out this crap -

(P.S. I’m so sorry.)