We don’t have a teaser image for this one because we don’t want to ruin the fun. Trust me, it’s one of the best optical illusions you’ll ever see.

The Never Ending Picture Illusion (more…)

Kent Couch of Central Oregon finally succeeded on the third attempt to fly his balloon contraption out of the state, going some 300 miles before touching down in Idaho. The Associated Press reported that dozens of supporters were on hand and local media outlets also covered the event.

Big deal. Wasn’t the hot-air balloon invented and perfected at like the turn of the century. Maybe next this guy can invent a thing you sit on and pedal and the wheels go around and you go forward. Or maybe he’ll strap two flat pieces of wood to his feet and use them to slide down a mountain. From now on when somebody makes the news for something totally unworthy, it should be called ‘pulling a Kent Couch’. And while I’m making up rules, the new name for gravy will be Heaven Sauce.

First of all, face tattoos are amazing. They say ‘hey world, I’m so fucking crazy I have a tattoo on my face, so back the fuck off’. So naturally Mike Tyson, a certified maniac, has one, and it’s badass.

Anyways, the former heavyweight rapist champion of the world has found himself in some legal trouble recently, when he was named as a financier in a murder for hire investigation in the Bedford-Stuyvesant area of New York.

I for one don’t buy it. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that a man who ripped another’s man ear from his head with his teeth, beat the shit out of Robin Givens on a regular basis, and a convicted rapist, would pay to have another man killed. That’s absurd. Next you’re gonna tell me cigarettes are bad for me and staring at the sun will make me go blind. Ridiculous.

The nation of America celebrated another birthday yesterday, and as much as we liked those special bikini pictures of Marla Maples, there’s still room for improvement in mother nation. And no - we’re not talking about the war in Iraq, Bush, and all that political shit.

We’re talking about these weird (real!) sex laws:

1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.

2. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.

3. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.

4. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.

Read some more of the weirdest US sex laws at ecollegetimes.com [Click Here]

Some guy, who is clearly not a guy, but a woman who desperately wants to look like one, gave birth to a baby girl today. I don’t see what the big deal is. Arnold Schwarzenegger already did this in 1994 when he teamed up with DeVito again for Junior. If I were Arnie, I would sue the shit out of this weirdo for copyright infringement. Other things I would do if I were Arnie:

1. Return to the Mr. Freeze role, so I could say “Ice to see you!”, more often

2. Terminate things

3. Eat more puppies

This has to be the most fascinating event on the planet, and proof that we as a species are headed straight for extinction. Kobayashi, the Michael Jordan of eating contests, had his title ripped away from him last year by young upstart Joey ‘No Need For A Nickname’ Chestnut, and was looking for revenge today at Nathan’s Official Hot-Dog Eating Contest. After ten minutes of stuffing their face, the two were tied at 59 hot dogs apiece, and had to go to the first ever hot dog off. This was like the Ali-Frazier of hot-dog eating, and the American took home the crown in the end in stunning fashion. Apologies for poor video quality.

There is nothing better than getting drunk with your friends and arguing about which animal would win in a hypothetical battle to the death. My personal favorites include the Giraffe vs. Gorilla With A Baseball Bat debate, or the classic Bear vs. Tiger With Spikes On It’s Back discussion. For whatever reason, these situations rarely play out in real life, but over the weekend in a Canadian zoo, the Lion vs. Eagle scenario became a reality, when a professionally trained golden eagle flew in to a lion’s den, and was destroyed by the king of the jungle. You would think that an animal with wings would be better at escaping from one that doesn’t, like, let’s say, a lion. You would also think I could stay sober long enough to remember to feed my dog. RIP Sir Humpsalot.

As reported below, and everywhere else in the last 24 hours, Verne Troyer, or ‘Mini-Me’, has been captured on film, getting down and dirty with a girl who is way too hot to sink this low. Pun. Now, he is suing TMZ, the website who broke the story, for 20 million dollars! Does anyone else think this whole thing is a sleazy publicity stunt to get The Love Guru some juice at the box-office. Mike Myers is the only reason this guy isn’t in the circus, and he called in a favor to save his shitty movie. Case Closed. Damn I’m good.

Watch Verne Troyer Not Have Sex (more…)

We’ve all seen the Coke & Mentos experiment which became one of the most popular videos on the internet. Now it’s time to see the Coke & Mentos Mass experiment, which registered a Guiness world record on June 19th, 2008 when 1900 Latvian students opened their Coke-Mentos bottles all together.

Watch the video (more…)

So this guy in Canada took a truck for a test drive from a local Dodge dealership, and then stops and robs a bank with the salesman still in the vehicle, so he can get the money to pay for it. I don’t know about brains, but this guy has the biggest balls in the history of the known universe. It’s one thing to rob a bank, any chimp can pass a teller a note. But to do it with the engine running and the douchebag sales guy just sitting there waiting. That’s top ten ballsiest moves of all time, right behind slipping it in the back door unannounced, and that time I went swimming way less than an hour after eating. Suck it science!

A baby girl wih four arms and four legs was born in India recently. Anywhere else in the world and that freak child would have been put out to pasture straight out of the womb. Instead, locals are worshipping the young girl, and say she is the reincarnation of Lakshmi, who I’m assuming was goddess or a sacred cow or something. If it were me, I would be training this kid to be a cage fighter already. Remember Goro from Mortal Kombat? He only had six limbs and he was always tough to beat, even when I was Scorpion and would do the “Get over here!” move.

Back when hardcore p*rn was the new black I used to wonder if it’s Tera or Terra Patrick, it was a question that puzzled me even after I stopped watching and started having, well - I never started having, but that’s another issue.

Well pals: it puzzles me no more! I don’t give a flying fuck whether it’s Tera Patrick or Terra Patrick because truth is, this scum have rode too many wheelies. I mean wouldn’t you expect a porn star to eventually develop into a MILF? wait, no? uh..

Tera Patrick: Then

Tera Patrick: Now