The Russian Governing body, Duma, which sounds like a tasty carbonated beverage, is currently considering a package of laws that are geared towards preventing teen suicides and alcoholism. Among the new rules are plans to ban toys shaped like skeletons or monsters, the implementation of a 10 p.m. curfew for all schoolchildren, and the phasing out of both Halloween and St. Valentine’s Day. The new measures also aim to curtail emo, or goth culture, which officials say is “cultivating bisexuality”.

Personally Russians frighten me. They drink vodka like the world is running out of it, and all the women look like they want to suck my blood, but I see some good ideas coming out of this. Sombody has to put a stop to emo kids, and screw St. Valentine’s Day. The only thing that really grinds my gears is the banning of Halloween, which when you’re a kid is the best fucking day of the year, And the banning of toys shaped like monsters or skeletons? What did a skeleton or a monster ever do to anybody?

Joshua Lipton from Rhode Island triggered a three car collision while drunk driving, and before his court date, dressed up as a prisoner and went to a Halloween party, where he mugged for the camera. Prosecutors dug up the photos on Facebook and presented them in court, where the judge branded him as unremorseful, and handed down a much stiffer than expected sentence of two years in prison.

This is another reason why Facebook should be abolished. First it ruined cheating on your girlfriend (I can’t even go the gas station without being photographed, tagged and splashed all over someone’s newsfeeed, let alone out to da club) and now this poor kid is going to get ass-raped double time because he was trying to score some last minute poon by dressing up as a bad mofo. I wish Facebook were a person so I could kick it in the junk and tell it to mind it’s own fucking business. Like my Aunt Carol. Stay out of my dresser Aunt Carol or next time I’m wearing steel toes.

A man in New York is suing Subway restaurants for 1 million dollars, claiming his cold cut trio sandwich had a 7-inch knife baked in to it. He says he took several bites out of the hoagie before relaizing the deadly weapon placed inside.

A milion dollars? I’d pull a Cosmo Kramer and demand free Subway for life. No amount of money could replace that sweet, fresh, knifey goodness

Ok, so science never excited me too much, but this is one of the coolest, weirdest, wicked videos I have ever seen.

It’s part of an award-winning movie called “Magnetic Movie” and was filmed at NASA Space Sciences Laboratory at the University of California, Berkley.

Watch the Magnetic Movie (more…)

Soccer referee Sergei Shmolik was taken off field after complaining about back pain, but this video, released a few days ago - shows well..that the symptoms don’t really match the complaints..

In a game between FC Naftan and FC Vitebsk Shmolik started acting all wacky, as you will see in the video (more…)

The dudes at Improv Everywhere sent 7 pairs of twins to create a real-life human mirror on the subway, the crowd’s reaction is pretty funny.

Watch the video [Click Here]

We don’t have a teaser image for this one because we don’t want to ruin the fun. Trust me, it’s one of the best optical illusions you’ll ever see.

The Never Ending Picture Illusion (more…)

Kent Couch of Central Oregon finally succeeded on the third attempt to fly his balloon contraption out of the state, going some 300 miles before touching down in Idaho. The Associated Press reported that dozens of supporters were on hand and local media outlets also covered the event.

Big deal. Wasn’t the hot-air balloon invented and perfected at like the turn of the century. Maybe next this guy can invent a thing you sit on and pedal and the wheels go around and you go forward. Or maybe he’ll strap two flat pieces of wood to his feet and use them to slide down a mountain. From now on when somebody makes the news for something totally unworthy, it should be called ‘pulling a Kent Couch’. And while I’m making up rules, the new name for gravy will be Heaven Sauce.

First of all, face tattoos are amazing. They say ‘hey world, I’m so fucking crazy I have a tattoo on my face, so back the fuck off’. So naturally Mike Tyson, a certified maniac, has one, and it’s badass.

Anyways, the former heavyweight rapist champion of the world has found himself in some legal trouble recently, when he was named as a financier in a murder for hire investigation in the Bedford-Stuyvesant area of New York.

I for one don’t buy it. You can’t honestly expect me to believe that a man who ripped another’s man ear from his head with his teeth, beat the shit out of Robin Givens on a regular basis, and a convicted rapist, would pay to have another man killed. That’s absurd. Next you’re gonna tell me cigarettes are bad for me and staring at the sun will make me go blind. Ridiculous.

The nation of America celebrated another birthday yesterday, and as much as we liked those special bikini pictures of Marla Maples, there’s still room for improvement in mother nation. And no - we’re not talking about the war in Iraq, Bush, and all that political shit.

We’re talking about these weird (real!) sex laws:

1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.

2. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.

3. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.

4. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.

Read some more of the weirdest US sex laws at ecollegetimes.com [Click Here]

Some guy, who is clearly not a guy, but a woman who desperately wants to look like one, gave birth to a baby girl today. I don’t see what the big deal is. Arnold Schwarzenegger already did this in 1994 when he teamed up with DeVito again for Junior. If I were Arnie, I would sue the shit out of this weirdo for copyright infringement. Other things I would do if I were Arnie:

1. Return to the Mr. Freeze role, so I could say “Ice to see you!”, more often

2. Terminate things

3. Eat more puppies

This has to be the most fascinating event on the planet, and proof that we as a species are headed straight for extinction. Kobayashi, the Michael Jordan of eating contests, had his title ripped away from him last year by young upstart Joey ‘No Need For A Nickname’ Chestnut, and was looking for revenge today at Nathan’s Official Hot-Dog Eating Contest. After ten minutes of stuffing their face, the two were tied at 59 hot dogs apiece, and had to go to the first ever hot dog off. This was like the Ali-Frazier of hot-dog eating, and the American took home the crown in the end in stunning fashion. Apologies for poor video quality.