Let’s play a game!

You are hungry. It’s a hot day. You decide that the perfect delicacy to slake your gnawing hunger pains would be a nice, heaping, made-your-way sandwich from Subway — naturally! But wait, wait — oh no! They get your order wrong! Should you:

a. Explain this calmly, rationally, and respectfully, and have them make your sandwiches again;
b. Bitch, complain, rant, and generally run your mouth until your food is made the way you wanted it;
c. Vault over the counter and beat the ever-loving crap out of the incompetent Sandwich Artist with the offending, incorrectly made subs;
d. Go bug-nuts, call 911 — because, clearly, wrong orders are a serious criminal offense — 94853459 times in 15 minutes, continue to freak the hell out, and get arrested when the annoyed po-lice finally arrive.

Did you make the right choice? See the answer (more…)

I know, I know. This story has been done to death … but it just keeps getting better. And come on — who’s not still morbidly interested?

So Verne “Call me Mini Me and I’ll have a breakdown” Troyer’s ex girlfriend Ranae Shrider allegedly beat the shit out of him — and threw him upon the floor. Shrider in turn accuses the miniature movie star of abusing both her and her dog with his little walking/reaching stick. Which one’s in it for the publicity, do you think? The sale of the sex tape has been banned but I’m inclined to believe Troyer didn’t want it out because 1. it’s personal and intimate (…and gross), and 2. well, why should he want to show his dangling bits to the world? He only played a tripod in the movies, I doubt there’s any baby’s arm holding an apple in his tiny pants. Plus Shrider … well, she’s already told the world that he was bad in bed, but that he “tried hard,” which is just a death sentence. She might as well have said his junk was “cute.” Anyhow I don’t think he’s fighting it strictly for the publicity, because we all saw him naked and whizzing in the corner on the Surreal Life anyway.

Check out home girl’s acting skills and think about it a little. Oh. In case you haven’t seen it enough, there’s also some little person lovin’ (more…)

Admittedly, the clever connotations of the Butterface lose a bit of their luster when referencing the dudes. This was much harder than I expected it to be, actually, but I still managed. Oh yes, I managed.

Before you stick it to me, a few words: Michael Jackson is scary but cannot be on the list because his white alien body is as frightening as his face; Benicio del Toro gets an honorable mention, but does not qualify because unfortunately, he keeps his body much more covered than his Wookie face; and three, Vin Diesel was going to be here but I was worried about death threats.

That being said, I leave you with the butter boys (more…)

So wrong, so rude, yet so genius.

I am intrigued by the butterface. You know — “Her body’s sick, dude, butterface … brrr!” So I compiled my very own top 5 list — for girls and guys, ’cause I believe in equality.

My butterface criteria is from a girl’s perspective so it’s admittedly harsh — seriously harsh. But I stand behind each and every one of them, and I promise, I’m not going to be any less hard on the guys.

Warning: Some of these choices may be extremely unpopular. So come on, let’s go toe to toe (more…)

Yep, when your wife is not only fat, but also so unfeminine - there’s no better way to get her back to the straight and narrow.

Watch the video (more…)

Adu Bunu, a Romanian criminal who defrauded thousands of people of an unspecified amount of cash, snapped this pic of his infant son rolling in dough, to show his relatives back home how easy it is to gain riches in Britain.

Babies get everything and it’s starting to piss me off. They get to suck on as much tit as they want all day long. They can shit and piss their pants and nobody even scolds them like when I do it, and they have their food pre-chewed for them. And now this! Those evil little soft skulled bastards better be ready, cause those cribs, although fortress like, are far from impenetrable. You better watch it babies, I’m on to your little scam, and I’ve had about enough.

The kind of pranks you think you’d only see in cartoons like Tom & Jerry..

…snap, did I just admit I used to watch Tom & Jerry?

Watch the video (more…)

Drew Carey is so full of shit. If this win isn’t rigged then this girl is the greatest Clock Game player to ever walk the face of the planet, which I would believe if the contestant appeared even remotely educated. But this trailer park all-star looks like she just squeezed out twins in the alley out back, and her guess of ‘ten-hundred’ is a pretty clear indicator of brain damage. I bet you this girl is dead by now. Even after taxes, a million dollars buys a lot of glue.

Watch the conspiracy unfold (more…)

At yesterday’s Miss Universe pageant, Crystle Stewart, the contestant representing America, fell while performing in the evening gown portion of the competition. It’s the second straight year the Miss America has fallen on stage during the annual event.

I love when people fail in public. Especially if they do it on a stage and in front of millions of people and it comes while performing a task as simple as walking on flat ground. So the footage is great. No question about that.

What bothers me about this story is the name of the competition itself. Until we get some contestants from another planet, can we name this something besides the Miss Universe pageant. You know there’s some hot ass on Jupiter.

See the winner, Miss Venezuela, and stupid American girls fall (more…)

The nation of America celebrated another birthday yesterday, and as much as we liked those special bikini pictures of Marla Maples, there’s still room for improvement in mother nation. And no - we’re not talking about the war in Iraq, Bush, and all that political shit.

We’re talking about these weird (real!) sex laws:

1. Oral sex is illegal in 18 states, including Arizona.

2. Engaging in any sexual position other than missionary is illegal in Washington, DC.

3. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida.

4. Sex with animals is perfectly legal for men in Washington state, as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds.

Read some more of the weirdest US sex laws at ecollegetimes.com [Click Here]