A hot day in Iowa, a few beers, a shovel, and some hors d’oeuvres. In this case, the delicacies were not shrimp wrapped with prosciutto or delicate little little fingers — they amounted to a nose and part of an upper lip. Basically that dude up there, Matthew Osing, was drinking with his friend Donroy Merrival on July 24. They got into an argument, Osing — in fear of his life or something — hit Merrival with a shovel. In return, Merrival pulled a Mike Tyson and bit his buddy’s nose off — get that? He didn’t just bite it, he bit it off. And it has not been found. Osing theorizes that either Merrival himself swallowed it … or the dogs got it. It’s a scene straight out of Hannibal, y’all, and the clincher is that Osing may face charges for hitting Merrival in the first place.

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