A judge announced today that Britney Spears would hand over full custody of her children to their father, Kevin “The Dreamweaver” Federline, for a period of eighteen months.

My list of people to call and babysit my kids looks something like this:

1. Suzie
2. Katie
3. Charles Manson
4. Jeffrey Dahmer
5. A cougar
6. Britney Spears